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  • Chuck Norris overtook Zeno’s tortoise no problem, then roundhoused the turtle into Zeno’s face.
  • Pseudo-Dionysius the Areopagite abandoned negative theology because he just couldn’t bring himself to write that the Godhead “is not Chuck Norris.”
  • When Parmenides said “ex nihilo nihil fit”, Chuck Norris roundhoused him out of nowhere. Parmenides took it back.
  • After Heidegger met Chuck Norris, he agreed that Chuck isn’t thrown: he throws.

More philosophical Chick Norris facts here:

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