- Chuck Norris overtook Zeno’s tortoise no problem, then roundhoused the turtle into Zeno’s face.
- Pseudo-Dionysius the Areopagite abandoned negative theology because he just couldn’t bring himself to write that the Godhead “is not Chuck Norris.”
- When Parmenides said “ex nihilo nihil fit”, Chuck Norris roundhoused him out of nowhere. Parmenides took it back.
- After Heidegger met Chuck Norris, he agreed that Chuck isn’t thrown: he throws.
More philosophical Chick Norris facts here: